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Literature Text
The sun's shining and the sky is clear
and you wish that you weren't here
Anymore, no part of this world, of this life
You're trapped in darkness and the way out
Of it is death, there's no doubt
But the alluring whispers of the sharp knife
When you drive in your car down the road
You dream of your last abode
And your eyes search for a tree to crash into
Every bridge's a chance to jump down
Each river tempts you to drown
In it, you climb high buildings not for the view
How can I make you stay here with me
When you try so hard to flee
From life's pain and the darkness and the sorrow?
Still I'm begging at your feet to stay
Not to throw your life away
Because without you I couldn't face tomorrow
You say you're born alone and you'll die
All alone, but that's a lie
When you leave this world you leave me behind, too
I need you to carry on, my friend
'Friends until the bitter end.'
We promised each other, tell me it's still true
Dearest friend, remember what we swore
Don't make me attend at your
Funeral before we're both older than dirt
From this step there is no turning back
If you take it, my soul'll crack
Because I wouldn't know how to deal with the hurt
and you wish that you weren't here
Anymore, no part of this world, of this life
You're trapped in darkness and the way out
Of it is death, there's no doubt
But the alluring whispers of the sharp knife
When you drive in your car down the road
You dream of your last abode
And your eyes search for a tree to crash into
Every bridge's a chance to jump down
Each river tempts you to drown
In it, you climb high buildings not for the view
How can I make you stay here with me
When you try so hard to flee
From life's pain and the darkness and the sorrow?
Still I'm begging at your feet to stay
Not to throw your life away
Because without you I couldn't face tomorrow
You say you're born alone and you'll die
All alone, but that's a lie
When you leave this world you leave me behind, too
I need you to carry on, my friend
'Friends until the bitter end.'
We promised each other, tell me it's still true
Dearest friend, remember what we swore
Don't make me attend at your
Funeral before we're both older than dirt
From this step there is no turning back
If you take it, my soul'll crack
Because I wouldn't know how to deal with the hurt
Literature
Why Do You Do This?
Why do you do all of this
You stain your wrists
You cry all the damn time
You slip when you try to climb
You're in all this pain
Putting that blade to a vein
You dig it in, but not too deep
For now, that price is too steep
But will the day eventually come
A day when you are so very numb
That the price isn't too high
And you give up the will to try
God forbid that day should arrive
I want you to be happy and alive
Yet I freak out when you aren't there
Don't make me feel loss and despair
Literature
Lost In Confusion
Lost In Confusion
My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?
The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..
Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?
I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo
Literature
Eternal Sleep
A sirens song,
Calls my name,
Sorrowful and beautiful,
Filled with pain,
The call of death,
Promises of peace,
An eternal one,
Of endless sleep.
Her open arms,
Hold me close,
As the coldness
Of death takes hold
Numbing and frozen
As the pain eases away
I close my eyes
And with my last breath
Say your name....
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For the one who wanted to crash her car into a bridge pillar
For the one who jumped off a bridge and was lucky to fall into a river.
For the one who wanted to jump onto a highway.
For the one who took the knife to end it.
For the ones I cannot lose.
For the one who jumped off a bridge and was lucky to fall into a river.
For the one who wanted to jump onto a highway.
For the one who took the knife to end it.
For the ones I cannot lose.
© 2012 - 2024 Diluculi
Comments34
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactFirst stanza:
I like the way the first line conflicts with the second, telling the reader that this person doesn't want to live in this beautiful world.
The last line paints a vivid picture of how this person (let's just call him/her Person X) is trying to resist the urge to escape the darkness, in a very provocative way.
Second stanza:
The way you described how Person X is constantly searching for a way to end it is phenomenal. However, I feel that the word 'down' in the line "Every bridge's a chance to jump down" does not aptly reflect the rest of the line.
And in the last line, "In it, you climb high buildings not for the view", it is not completely clear what you climb the buildings in, as the word 'dream' is only used once in the second line, and that too as a verb.
Third stanza:
I felt that this was a particularly flat stanza, except for the last line, "Because without you I couldn't face tomorrow". Very emotional, and brings in the idea that you have deep feelings about Person X very cleverly.
Fourth Stanza:
I found the fourth stanza free of any and all error, and the last 2 lines stood out spectacularly, showing the reader your intimate relationship with Person X.
Fifth Stanza:
I absolutely loved how you implied your potential sorrow by showing your reluctance to attend Person X's funeral.
I found "Before we're older than dirt" to be wonderfully creative phrase. Fantastic.
The last three lines finish the poem quite well, sending it off with a bang, if you'll excuse the pun.
All in all, a very well written, thought provoking piece. This is one of those poems that just slaps you in your face and reminds you what's important in life.
I especially loved the way you described the "temptation", that urge to go all the way. Really beautiful work. A few tiny snags here and there, but otherwise, it's brilliant. Please write more things like this!